Caveat Lector

An interview with Bruce Perens contains the following Q&A segment:

So you do speak for yourself?

As far as I can, I speak for myself while being an employee of HP.

The rest of that sentence clearly is “but I can’t say everything I’d like to.” Perens does go on to talk about a few things he’s said that top brass doesn’t agree with, trying to prove he’s not muzzled.

Argh. Argh, I say. I used to think that doing the Poster Child thing was a good gig for those that could get it. I had a lot of fun being Poster Child for Impressions, for a while. That fun ended when departmental management changed and the new manager got angry at me when someone I knew at a large publishing house arranged to call me on the phone. New-manager told me in no uncertain terms that he intended to control what his department said about Things Markuppish.

My immediate past employer (one can say “immediate past president” so why not “immediate past employer”?) got nearly to the point of firing me over an article that committed two heinous sins: criticizing practices in use at his company (among many other places, I say in the company’s defense), and praising a competitor.

That challenge I faced down with uncharacteristic courage. I had told him from the beginning that I didn’t want my article series for eBookWeb to come under company aegis, because I meant to keep my voice independent. I won, after a fashion. I did not enjoy my victory. It spurred me to get another job, in fact.

I can be argued with. I even enjoy it, as long as the merits of the argument rest on matters of fact or intelligent speculation and leave personalities more or less alone. I can be convinced I’m wrong; happens often. I don’t have to get my way every time; I know how to lose the good fight now and then, and I can be depended upon not to hold grudges later. I work hard not to be nasty on a personal level (though when I don’t meet my own professional standards, it is liable to be here). I understand the separation of the personal from the professional—being introverted by nature, I have less inclination to bring my personal life to work than most, I think. I really, truly try not to be a more difficult person than my peculiar mental wiring and imperfect socialization already make me.

I resent argument from authority, however, especially when the source of the authority brought to bear upon me is social rather than intellectual. I do understand that someone with umpty-ump years in a field knows more about it than I do; I have been known to accept that kind of authority, though not always and not unconditionally. I have trouble accepting authority by fiat, is all.

And I will not be silenced. I will not. I will happily explain that my professional opinions are my own only. I gladly take responsibility for them. I won’t pretend I don’t have them, however, nor will I adjust them to fit a company line. For good or ill, I don’t possess the capacity for doublethink that would permit this.

This probably makes me a poor choice for an employee, a lot of places. I guess I accept that. My immediate past employer, however, seemed to want it both ways: he hired me at least in part for my ebook notoriety, but wanted to check the free expression and personal probity that went into establishing that notoriety. I fear I’m a package deal. I’m good, but I’m loud.

Poster Child is a good gig, and Perens is doing well at it. Part of me is a little envious. Most of me doesn’t want to be where he is, however.