Boss, killing a rat is no problem. Stuff it into a sack. Beat the sack with an ax. Then shoot it. Then drown it. Burn the sack with the dead rat in it.
—Robert A. Heinlein, Friday
That’s a pretty good description of what this repository-rat’s last week was like, from an extremely personally-expensive strategic error on my part (no, no further details, sorry), to getting my butt kicked by Manakin, to my (brand-new, purchased with personal funds) color printer dying (which led directly to the aforementioned expensive strategic error), to various blog-related kerfuffles, to an extraordinarily pointless and time-costly expedition to plug the repository to entirely the wrong audience, to complications in a project that should have been out of my life for good six months ago but somehow manages to have more lives than a rat and a cat put together, to a hurricane of bureaucratic tsuris surrounding what I do and what I’d like to do, to yet another in the long string of accusations from various parts of constituting Part Of The Problem, to spending much too much time getting video ripped and conference posters printed, and…
And then I heard that Roy Rosenzweig had died. My first thought, which does me absolutely no credit whatever but illuminates my frame of mind, was “Bloody hell. Why am I doing this, again? Apathy or mindless happytalk or hypocritical lip-service everywhere there isn’t outright hostility, and here we’ve lost one of the good ones. We can’t afford that, damn it.”
I didn’t know Roy well. I’d met him a couple of times. Some people immediately impinge on the consciousness as too damn smart and capable to quite be real. He was assuredly one of those. I did what I do with people like that: stay out of their way while they do their thing, watching with awe. I’d heard from the Mason grapevine that he was ill; all the more reason not to play the Porlockian.
One reason academic fiefdoms are dangerous is that they tend to coalesce around their founders, withering or stagnating once the founders’ fire is gone. I’m not worried about the Center for History and New Media, though, because the other thing I noticed about Roy was his talent for attracting… well, talent. It’s still there, and my guess is it’ll stay there.
That’s today’s thought, though. At the time, finding out about Roy’s death was just the ugly capstone to my monster brutalist edifice of a week. Honestly, I spent most of the weekend sulking. (And not doing my grading, which I still have a lot of to do.)
Today I came in, put on Fairfax Choral’s performance of the Duruflé Requiem for Roy, wrote off a lot of sunk costs (both time and money), dealt with equipment problems, dumped a bunch of stuff off my desktop and to-do list that didn’t need to be there, starred the email in which the sysadmin hauled me out of my Manakin morass, sneered at NeoOffice when it lost all the non-heading text out of Roach Motel (seriously, NeoOffice, wtf?), promptly rescued the article with Apple Pages, and still made it to the morning staff meeting on time.
Because you can’t kill a rat. Try.