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Caveat Lector » 2006 » April

Dies Saturni, 8 Aprili 2006

Shutting up the sirens

“We’re getting a Ph.D program in linguistics,” a colleague said to me at lunch the other day.

“Oh, are we?” I said mildly. “That’s nice.”

“Yeah, I thought you’d be interested.”

Me? Uh, I’m not, not so much, no. If I’d wanted a Ph.D, I’d have stayed in Madison and gotten one in LIS.”

“Oh.” He sounded vaguely disappointed. “Well, you can’t go and get another master’s. Three looks suspicious.”

Bwah? What is it with people telling me I need to pile stuff higher and deeper? I like my job. I like my profession. I like my life. Why would I go ruin all that in a Ph.D program? Why?

I’d sooner take up bungee jumping, and I don’t like heights.

For the record, I should say that I was wrong that in the library world, a Ph.D fits one only for teaching in library schools. The other thing it fits one for, it seems, is running large academic libraries. If you’re going to run with the big boys, you need their union card.

Yes, all right, so perhaps some of my colleagues have a notion of grooming me for management. Go me; since I took this job, I have been working hard on my project-management and people skills, knowing those to be weaknesses of mine, and apparently I’m getting somewhere.

But with all due respect to the Big Boss at MPOW, he doesn’t make his job look like a whole lot of fun; the layer underneath him doesn’t seem so bad, but it also doesn’t require a Ph.D. So if I have to give in to the sirens in order to rise to a job I don’t fancy, then the glass ceiling (and librarianship does have one) is going to have to be broken by some other broad. Include me out.

Dies Solis, 9 Aprili 2006

Revamping my image

When I crawled into the campus counselor’s office at last, a mind-fried wreck of a thing after four years of the Department from Hell, even then I had to repeat several times that I needed to leave graduate school before the counselor would believe me. It was the decision his skillful handling led me to make; it just wasn’t the decision he wanted out of me.

Apparently I’m just that much everyone’s notion of an academic. I don’t find this flattering any more. Or funny. I just want academia to give me up for saved.

I will enter classrooms again. No doubt about it. Too much to learn, not enough time to teach myself. I will never darken the door of another degree program. It just won’t happen. Academia’s eaten over a quarter of my life as it is, and let’s just not even talk money and opportunity cost, hm? I have other and better things to do now.

(Yeah. Over one-quarter. Three and a half years of undergrad, four and a half years in the Department from Hell, two years in library school. I’m 33. Do the math. If you’re not appalled, you should be. I am.)

And I’m certainly not going to do it merely because other people think I belong. That way lies madness. I know; I went that way once, and duly went mad.

So it’s time to attack this pernicious idea from the other direction. Time to figure out just what it is that makes people slot me into their mental “academic” slot, and change it.

I’m starting to think it’s my eccentric, sometimes stodgy, sometimes ’70s-boho fashion sense. That’s not changing, because I like what I like—but I might be able to cross it.

David suggested hot-pink hair. Hot pink isn’t quite my thing, I fear—but I’m strongly considering streaks of Kool-Aid blue. Eat that, academia.

Dies Lunae, 10 Aprili 2006

Fear in Duruflé’s Requiem

Requiem masses are a golden excuse for composers to mess around with the audience’s emotions, to grab it by the collective throat and twist. The only reason I can sit through Mozart’s “Lacrimosa” without crying is that I sang it in high school; it’s manipulative in the extreme. But they all are, in their separate ways—Verdi will happily scare you straight, Fauré wants very badly to reassure you, and Mozart will run you right through the emotional wringer, awe to grief to terror.

The more I get used to singing this Requiem of Duruflé’s, the weirder its emotional content seems. I don’t agree with what seems to be common wisdom about it; I’m finding it the nervousest requiem mass I’ve ever heard or sung. I’m honestly not sure if it’s me, the music, or the effort of getting the music right, but I can feel tension building in me just listening to my rehearsal CDs.

The Introit starts calmly enough in the men’s voices, but there’s this little unresolved wriggle going on in the low strings that feels anxious, and the chanted treble “Te decet…” lines with their worried woodwinds don’t help. When we finally get back to a drone of “Requiem aeternam dona eis” again, it sounds like a plea, and not a plea assured of success, either.

The Kyrie is probably the most straightforward movement in the piece; it’s a plea and it’s not pretending to be anything else. Nice counterpoint, nice long lines in each part that are fun to sing, nice thrilling forte section toward the end—but even so, Duruflé ties the movement off quietly and in the lower part of the singers’ ranges, very doubtful-sounding.

The Domine Jesu Christe starts with more tooth-grinding low stuff in the strings, and expands into an almost Mozartian description of the horrors of hell. The middle section feels rushed, frankly afraid, before turning matters over to the low brass and strings again. The “sed signifer sanctus Michael” promise sounds remote, disinterested—sure, a vow was made, but does it matter? Then a terribly uncertain, unhappy baritone solo (we won’t have a soloist, but that’s all right; our baritone section has this line just exactly perfect) asks for death to give way to life. The answer is a repeat of the promise, just as remote and disinterested as before. This is not reassuring. Not even a little bit.

Duruflé finally lets the chorus cut loose in the Sanctus with some real from-the-gut hosannas accompanied by trumpet fanfare, but he undercuts chorus and trumpets both beforehand and afterwards. It’s as though the piece has to build up its courage to dare a moment’s self-assurance, promptly returning afterwards to its normal timorous state.

I haven’t heard the Pie Jesu since I sang it in college (it’s normally a solo; my college women’s chorus sang it as a unison piece), but I remember it being lovely and pleading. The Agnus Dei is soft, dark, rather forgettable. Much emphasis on eternal rest, which after all these fidgety troubled pleas is entirely understandable.

The Lux Aeterna is just weird. I don’t get what Duruflé is driving at with it. It bounces this cutesy, swingy, pastoral introduction around the woodwinds for a bit, and then hands the chorus this off-beat chant melody that frankly sounds smug as sung. If I were pleading for eternal light before a stern judge, I wouldn’t send chirpy sparrowlike sopranos to do it for me!

I suppose I don’t think Duruflé believes “quia pius es.” I can only give this movement sense if the melody is almost parodic, being tossed off as nothing anyone is really supposed to give credence to. The sober reprise of “requiem aeternam” on a single chant tone again utterly fails to reassure; it makes the soprano sparrows’ final “quia pius es” sound thoughtlessly featherbrained by comparison.

Like the Kyrie, the Libera Me feels emotionally honest. The chorus is scared, it’s got plenty to be scared of, and it makes no bones about wanting to be set free. It does not, however, offer much hope about that eventuality. Nothing that ends with the tenors sighing, then joining the altos on a short phrase ending on a pianissimo low F-sharp is hopeful.

The chirpy, untrustworthy soprano chant is back to open the In Paradisum. And the choir of angels that’s supposed to carry everybody off to heaven? Is sung about in lots of troubled suspensions that Duruflé never resolves—he ends on the scariest, uneasiest ninth chord you ever heard, and just lets it die off into nothing.

Was the guy a nihilist? Calvinist? Secret atheist? What? Why on earth would anyone want this piece played at a memorial? For the postmodern anguish of it all? I can believe that this Requiem is a reaction to Fauré’s, actually, because the missing Dies Irae is a dead giveaway, but on the whole, it strikes me as a deconstructionist reaction. If Fauré wants to reassure, Duruflé wants to perturb.

Not that it’s not a gorgeous piece—it is, you should all come hear it, and these rough scribbles of mine are not doing it justice—but it’s just not a piece I’d want to offer someone grieving.

Dies Martis, 11 Aprili 2006

Professionalisms

Registration is now open for JCDL 2006. UIUC’s Tim Donohue and I are giving a tutorial about DSpace customization the morning of Sunday June 11. Please feel free to contact me with questions or suggestions about it.

This week is the library track at HigherEdBlogCon. Expect my “Open Access for Teachers” podcast/paper to go up Thursday.

I am honored to be part of the crew at TechEssence, which we hope to build into a current, useful, no-nonsense, no-snake-oil technology resource for librarians. If you have a specific topic you’d like to see addressed, I put a post up asking for just such suggestions.

Dies Mercurii, 12 Aprili 2006

Goth update

Well, Dream got himself echocardiogrammed today (not without protest), and the diagnosis was indeed feline hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. It seems to have been caught early, though, so he’s being put on beta-blockers and we are told the prognosis is good.

Thanks very much to those who emailed us good wishes for him. We’d like to keep our Goth-boy for a lot longer, if we can.

All’s well that

New Librarian has at last landed a job. I’m so happy about it I couldn’t begin to tell you.

Hang in there, NextGens. There really is hope. New Librarian got just about everything wrong it is possible to get wrong—but she straightened herself out and found work.

Whew. It is nice to write off a crisis as having been solved.

Dies Jovis, 13 Aprili 2006

“Open Access for Teachers” up

HigherEdBlogCon duly posted my presentation today. Because I eat my own dog food, it can also be found here. (HEBC has posted a screen-friendly PDF; I originally picked fonts that were more print-friendly, and the MARS version retains them. Pick your PDF poison, or download the Word doc from MARS and mess with the fonts yourself; I used styles, so it won’t be hard.)

I welcome questions, suggestions, quibbles, complaints, screams of anguish, et cetera. The piece is Creative Commonsed, but HEBC is using a more restrictive license than I would have chosen. So, word-of-mouth: add an attribution footnote or something and you can reuse whatever you like however you like wherever you like.

Oh, and the background music is from the nice folks here. Would you believe I got the placement-timing of the opening right my first try?

Dies Veneris, 14 Aprili 2006

Pilling the cat

Mr. Dream is not taking very kindly to this pill business, which is only fair because we’re not very good at doing it yet. Part of the problem is that at the moment he only gets a quarter of a pill, just to get his system used to it. He goes up to a half pill in another couple of days, which should make things easier; a quarter pill is so small it’s hard to handle!

Dream being Dream, though, he doesn’t express his irritation in violence. I haven’t a scratch on me, and neither does David. Such details are why I think he is worth the big bill for the echocardiogram.

(Which I can pay, no problem. Amazingly, we’ve been coming out ahead month after month despite all the unexpected vet and computer-repair bills. I’m not quite sure how this is happening, but I’m not complaining, either!)

Playmates

Last night David came up with the empty laundry baskets, the laundry having been safely deposited in the washer, and invited me down to “see some cute happy animals.” So, okay, I’m going to resist cute happy animals?

I don’t know that the three toad-frogs sitting in the window-well were exactly unhappy—after all, plenty of bugs fly down in there—but David thought they were, so he scooped them out one by one and deposited them safely in the grass. One, smarter than his fellows, made haste to crawl under a bush. One hopped onto the front stoop, possibly not his wisest move with two big lumbering humans about.

The third hopped right back into the window-well. David patiently rescued him again, whereat he sat motionless in David’s hand, having decided he’d found his prince, or something. David coaxed him off; he trudged sulkily away.

Just a few minutes ago, David said “I think I’m going out to see if any more toads need rescuing.” That’s my prince, that is. The toads can be his playmates, but he’s still mine.

Dies Saturni, 15 Aprili 2006

Moving, shaking, blogging, and drudging

Another blowup over celebrity in librarianship, this time over at Jenny’s and Walt’s. There’s a lot tied up in all this, more than I was really thinking about when I wrote my post about fangirling. For my own sake, mostly, I want to try to untangle some of it.

Part of what’s going on, I think, ties into the profession’s love-hate relationship with computers. (I refuse to say “technology.” My dad’s an anthropologist, so I have a much broader definition of that word than most. Ink-on-paper books are a technology, damn it!) Librarians who work with computers get an aura around us, whether we want it or not. We are perceived as more marketable, more glamorous, more change-oriented (often too much so), but less librarian-ly. So Jenny calls us “movers and shakers,” and Walt objects strongly to the equation of computer-librarians with movers and shakers, and isn’t that a crystal-clear example of the disconnect?

It’s frustrating, sometimes, being set apart like that. There’s a lot less glamour in this business than is perceived, anyhow. I’ve spent the last two weeks cleaning up other people’s HTML into decently-archivable form, and trying to ferret out why DSpace has been dumping a rash of errors into my email (don’t double-click on the click-through license, please!), and throwing together a quick intro to digital preservation, and—look, my job is a lot of things and I love my job, but glamour ain’t the attraction. And no amount of glamour makes up for being treated like an outsider. On rereading some of the “how to lose your techs” posts, I see a strong strain of “Hey! Treat me like a librarian, not a lusus naturae!”

I think the not-a-freak element plays into some of the warfare over library-school curricula. You’re not a librarian if you don’t study MARC cataloguing. You’re not a librarian if you don’t study reference service. You’re not a librarian if you don’t study library management. But that freaky-ass metadata and database and Web and programming shiznit? Not only is that not required, schools that require or even emphasize it aren’t library schools. Which inevitably implies that folks who do it aren’t librarians.

Ouch.

In my opinion, the library world should have embraced the I-schools, and the professions and locales I-school graduates work in. One way to keep a profession vital is to narrow its entry pool. Another way is to widen its sphere of influence. Librarianship persists in refusing the latter course of action, and I find that deeply disturbing. I don’t have a solution, though. The American Library Association won’t play this kind of ball, more’s the pity; if (as I’ve said) they were focused on the professionals instead of the buildings, things might well be different.

Another facet of the current disturbance is spotlight. Recently the spotlight has been falling on the crossroads between Web technology and public service. FRBR doesn’t get the ballyhoo because it’s not a Web technology; institutional repositories don’t because they’re not public service. Frankly, I think FRBR and the wave of libraries-as-publishers that IRs are a part of bid fair to have a greater and decidedly more disruptive impact on academic librarianship (note the adjective, please) than MySpace or IM or wikis or blogs or any of the Web/Library 2.0 stuff. Over the course of my career, I expect them to change some pretty fundamental things about what a lot of us do and how we do it. (Am meditating more posts on this subject, in fact.) So spotlight isn’t necessarily the best measure of long-term importance, and vice versa.

That leads to trying to measure whether the spotlighted-people-of-the-moment deserve the amount of attention they’re getting. This gets ugly. There’s inevitably envy involved, and where there’s envy, there’s grandstanding and backbiting and clique formation and all the stuff that LiveJournal calls “drama.” Broadly speaking, though, I see two main irritants: young and/or new librarians earning attention over and above that received by their elders, and a sense that notoriety is being earned by adherence to a particular hot tech rather than long service, hard work, serious research, or intelligent insight.

If there are any genuine milkers in all this, people more focused on their own advancement than their field’s or their patrons’, there certainly aren’t many. Even so, some people on all sides are handling this better than others. I know one librarian caught up in it who’s swearing up and down to disengage from it shortly lest useful professional exposure turn into one-trick-ponyism. I know others who are consciously disengaging from the drama; they are probably wiser than I am being just now.

For my part, I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing. I’m less enamored specifically of institutional repositories than the larger phenomena they’re a part of: digital librarianship, open-access scholarship, learning-object management, all the signs and signals that academic libraries are stepping up their involvement in scholarly information production and management. It’s a slow thing, though, a drudge thing. I suspect it’ll be the sort of thing historians of librarianship look back on and wonder how nobody saw it coming. I could, of course, be wrong about that; if I’ve bet on the wrong horse, midstream is coming. Another inherent danger of computer librarianship.

I do hope, though, that what I do becomes a staple of academic librarianship, and of the practice of scholarship generally. I confess that I don’t especially like feeling outcast.

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