The basic problem with Neurotic Ex-Boss, I am coming to believe, was his stubborn belief that success was finite and limited only to a few people, and that it therefore came at the expense of others.
He came by the belief honestly. His boss, the Big Boss, was a credit-stealer; he’d been ghostwriting the Big Boss’s papers and presentations for ages, receiving zero credit and zero additional remuneration. All unknowing, I blew that game for the Big Boss; I put a little piece on the Web that earned me plenty of kudos and plums, such that even when the Big Boss brought it under company auspices (owing to me being naive and too easily flattered), he couldn’t separate my name from it. At this point, Neurotic Ex-Boss must have recognized he was getting a raw deal.
Unfortunately, that realization came too late for Neurotic Ex-Boss to change his thinking about success. He regarded my success as a threat to him, even though I was not remotely a suitable candidate to take his job (if I had even wanted to, which I didn’t), and he could have gotten far more mileage for himself by supporting me than he did by thwarting my every move and making me miserable.
So I left, first his department and then the company, and it’s water under the drawbridge now, but events over the last couple of days have brought it back to mind.
Those who believe that succeeding means climbing a hill of bodies to snatch the flag that makes them Monarch of the Hill, because there can be only one… these people are, not surprisingly, exceedingly unpleasant to work with, and quite dangerous to work for. You may and probably will be the next corpse atop the pile. And once a Monarch ascends, woe to all who even appear to be worthy of the flag. They are not to be fostered, brought along as aides or colleagues; they are to be virulently attacked and shoved off the hill.
This plays out in the blogosphere too, not just the workplace. If attention and honor are perceived to be finite, they must be both courted and hoarded, and woe betide anyone else who attracts them. I firmly believe this phenomenon lies beneath the entire RSS/Atom saga, never mind the tiresome and repetitive “A-list” wrangling.
But what if success is—at least potentially—infinite? The entire equation changes. You have to decide which flavors of the limitless abundance you care for, and you have to sort out for yourself how much is enough. At that point, you can happily and without the least whisper of personal loss lend a hand to others who are doing the same.
It is, if you ask me, a much safer, healthier, and happier way to live. Even if the premise on which it is based is incorrect—and I don’t think it is; I think success comes in uncountable flavors and textures, and not every flavor will suit every person—my lived experience and my observations of others indicate that living as though success were infinite, behaving with generosity and consideration, leads to more security and long-term prominence than the reverse.
The Big Boss lost his company, and (it would appear) considerable credibility along with it. Neurotic Ex-Boss was freelancing none too successfully, last I heard. Me? For all that I don’t always live up to my own high-minded ideals… I’m doing just fine, thanks.
